HOMER & JETHRO at Their Funniest. The Self-Styled "Thinking Man's Hillbillies".
Greetings, fellow music lovers, from the "Homer and Jethro Lousy Lyrics Library." We bring you another collection of our bucolic ballads. We call it SONGS TO TICKLE YOUR FUNNY BONE. For the poor, uninformed minority who may not be familiar with our song stylings, we will include a few facts concerning each selection. Of course, this also gives the disc jockeys something clever to say as they spin our records. How's that for being optimistic?
"You Tell Her, I Stutter" - An early American protest song. A shy guy tries to con his buddy into popping the all-important question for him. This is a rather juicy morsel, could possibly bring back vaudeville.
"The Nutty Lady of Shady Lane" - We dug deep in our weird bag for this one, and the lady here is a real swinger. She's the kind who would never have her face lifted; she would have her body lowered!
"Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini" - Story of a shy young bathing beauty. With a shape like hers, when she wears stretch pants, they don't! This little drama explains what happens when she loses her bikini in a dive, and she knew she shouldn't be in a dive anyway 'cause she's under twenty-one.
"Malady of Love" - Guaranteed to set romance back at least fifty years. The romantic recitation is by Tennessee's answer to Franklin McCormick, Jethreaux Van Burns. A great song for the hand-holders, and hold tight or some music lover might break this little gem.
"Listen to the Gooney Bird" - Our moving tribute to the goofy birds who decorated the air strips in the South Pacific during World War II. Mother Nature created this fouled-up fowl as a practical joke. We got our melody from "Listen to the Mocking Bird"; the lyric from the wall of the men's room, Blake's Tavern, Indianapolis, Indiana.
"Throw Mama from the Train*" - This song is the result of a honeymoon trip where the bride's mother insisted on going along, and the groom keeps begging his wife to "throw mama from the train."
"They were doin' the Mambo" - Our apologies to Vaughn Monroe. We wrote this parody on the back of a menu during a coffee break. Critics have said we should have recorded the other side of the menu.
"Hay Shmo!" - Carl Smith had the original hit on this Boudleaux Bryant song. We think his version was funnier than ours, but he insists that he was dead serious and who are we to doubt him. Anyway, it's a good song, up to now!
"Don't Sing Along (On Top of Old Smoky) - This is the old folk song "On top of Old Smoky." We are helped and hindered here by a group of singers who are Mitch Miller rejects. Don't believe this will win us any real folk fans; however we won't slash our wrists over this little tragedy.
"Houn' Dawg" - When our fans (!) make a request from the audience, they just yell "Houn' Dawg." We have to decide between "How much is that" or "You ain't nothin' but a." This one's "You ain't nothin' but a."
So, dear friends, we sincerely hope you will enjoy SONGS TO TICKLE YOUR FUNNY BONE and maybe have a laugh or two at our expense - and our expenses are something to laugh about! Internal Revenue laughs at them even if they won't allow them!
"The thinking man's hillbillies"
Homer & Jethro
*Editor's Note: The title of this selection is actually "Mama from the Train (A Kiss, a Kiss)" but we allowed Homer and Jethro to take poetic (?) license. It's funnier their way.