Mom: The first thing they said is if you're looking for a program where you're just gonna
drop your kid off and we're gonna make them better and then we're gonna send them
home, you're at the wrong place. We knew, even then, that this was about the family, it
wasn't about Danny.
Dad: It was very important to us that we were involved, but we knew that we didn't have
the tools that Kayla needed and we needed to find a place that did, but that would
Dad: And then we started to work on our own challenges as a couple and as a family as
it relates to this. Started to realize that the transformation is not just about what Emily
does or what your daughter does, it's about what that family does to heal. It's unique.
Mom: And I think you really have to fully buy in and know that everyone has a part in
Girl: I have a big part but my parents also had a part too and if my parents hadn't have
changed, I wouldn't have stayed changed once I left New Haven.
Girl: The most important thing that they have done is helped themselves and worked on
what they need to work on for themselves.
Mom: Family therapy was hard but so worth it.
Mom: And it's giving me tools, really concrete tools to try to get to the next step.
Mom: And at some point I think for the two of us, at some point, you know, somebody's
saying "Just trust us, just trust us." At some point you say, okay, I'm gonna trust you.
And it made all the difference in the world. It was like, okay, we're just gonna go with
what you tell us, and it worked.
Mom: It's so enlightening. I have learned so much about myself and not always the
stuff I want to see. (Laughs) But that it's important that I see and it's been hard, but
good hard. Good hard.
Dad: Learning a little bit more about what you did to contribute maybe it's not even
consciously, or what the environment did to contribute.
Mom: And you know, as much as Danny pushed the boundaries, it was clear that she
did not feel safe because we were just all over the place. The hard, hard moments
when we had to walk away from Danny or do something that was counterintuitive to us
were those moments when I think we just learned the greatest lessons, and that pushed
us to really get to stuff that we had to get to.
Dad: And you know, there were times I just wanted to walk out and I just wanted to
say, "I can't believe you said that to me, and no, I don't want to do that, and that can't be
right," but he loved you so much. You know, he loves your family, he loves you
individually, he gets to know you so well that you just can't give up on him. (Laughs)
You don't have the option of leaving.
Mom: She just, she knew us. She became part of our family. She's just invested so
much time into us and she really listened.
Girl: I think it was this really deep understanding of who we were and exactly how to
work with us. And that's really what hadn't existed in our lives is like the faith that we
could do this. And pulling us to an expectation higher than we thought we could ever
Mom: And it's a family thing. We both had to do the work and that's why I think it